For many years now, Maria Iliaki has been keeping company with the public through television receivers, but also through her social media. Somewhere between filming and everyday obligations, we caught up with her to talk to us about how she experiences motherhood, since almost two years ago, Maria and her husband Stelios had little Katerina. Enjoy what she has to say and has not shared until now about the experience of motherhood.
Maria what was the first thing you demystified about motherhood when you became a mother yourself and how did that affect your psychology?
I didn't debunk anything about motherhood. Things are much better than I expected. What I debunked is the pregnancy period. Most people describe it as very dreamy, as a time when all women do is caress their bellies, talk to their babies and play music. I experienced it very differently.
Do you mean physically or psychologically?
Physically I was very difficult and this caused me a lot of tension. I wasn't functional, for five of the nine months I threw up at least ten times a day, so it didn't give me any pleasure, any euphoria. I didn't have time to think "Oh how great it's going to be when the baby comes", because I couldn't really think of anything. I was in a bed all day pale from vomiting and when I got up I wanted to lie down again! I distinctly remember one night I went to the hospital late at night with hyperemesis gravidarum to be given a serum because I was dehydrated. The doctor told me to do an ultrasound to check the baby and that night I heard his heartbeat for the first time. I couldn't be happy about that either, because I was so overworked that all I cared about was getting this unbearable nausea to stop.
Did all this stress you out?
It scared me because I was afraid that I might not "connect" emotionally with my child. Fortunately, there was never any danger to the baby. My own body only suffered. On a practical level, I could do almost nothing. Not even going out for a meal. My only pleasure in Switzerland where I was then - I was born there too - was to go out for a walk in the mountains and meadows. I couldn't even smell the coffee I love! I'm not talking about colognes and perfumes... I didn't tolerate anything!
Have you been craving something in particular?
No I didn't. I had invented little daily pleasures to make myself feel a little better. For example I made boiled organic cocoa in the morning which didn't upset my stomach, ate lots of carrots that were cold and sorbet ice cream. And plenty of almonds.
I want you to tell me as a working mother how you define the quality time you spend with Katerina. Are you the mom who is on top of your little one 24/7 or do you give her space to play on her own?
Before I gave birth, a woman I respect very much had told me that children want a happy mother, not a sacrificial mother. I don't feel like I've put my life aside to be with Katerina, I want to be with her and spend hours with her. At the same time I try to do things for myself, I don't want to stop working since I have learned to work all my life. If I suddenly stop everything I won't be myself. It's not easy, it takes a lot of organization and effort, and there are days when I'm very tired, but I feel very fulfilled and fulfilled. Now that Katerina is growing up, she likes to play alone. When this happens I sit further and observe her...
Have you searched for the perfect toys for babies her age?
I have read and searched a lot! I have consulted a lot of scientists about these very basic topics related to a baby, such as her speech, her sleep, what she should eat, what she should play. And of course my friends who have children have also helped me a lot! I always consult them.
What habits you learned from the mothers of the generation that raised our own generation do you keep today and which ones have you discarded because they don't fit your own style as a mother.
I didn't have a compass in my head about what I would be like as a mother. I don't know now if something had come out of me unconsciously from the way I grew up and I haven't realized it. With Stelios, what we want is for the child to grow up with love. Hug it a lot, kiss it a lot, let it feel safe, never feel that even our disagreements are transferred to it. I see that Katerina also responds very well to this love. Likes. She is a very loving child and the truth is that I have given her hugs even more than that. Safety is probably the most important thing for a child. What about Love...
What is the most important thing for a new mom?
The environment! My husband is very supportive and non-judgmental. We discuss everything and even if I do something he doesn't agree with he will tell me in a nice way. It's nice to get this message across. Partners and everyone who has direct contact with the new mom, grandmothers, relatives, friends in the first period when the hormones are in the red should know that these women need a lot of support and not criticism and constant suggestions. I followed my gut a lot and was never judged for it.
You have a very large online platform that includes many mothers. I guess you get a lot of messages from moms. I want to ask you what their biggest anxieties and insecurities are that they share with you, and how important it is to you to use your platform to talk about motherhood realistically and not from some point of perfection.
I always tell the truth. There are many difficult days. There are times when I close the door and say let's take ten breaths, because my nerves are frayed. As there are many moments of happiness. I always want to share my experience honestly.
As far as the sharing part is concerned, I will tell you that they are mainly concerned with practical issues such as e.g. children's sleep and food. There is also a strong concern because those around them, their environment, do not support them enough. I have been told many such stories. And of course the most disturbing of all is the indiscretion experienced by many women. Questions like: will you have a child or will you ever have a child should stop being asked.
Do you love that you've somehow created such a large community of moms online, or are you overwhelmed by the many voices within it?
I'm not talking about motherhood like an expert. I submit my experience as I told you before. No, it doesn't stress me out, because it's been the biggest part of my life for the past two years and I love sharing things from it. I talk about motherhood realistically, about the good times and the hard times that exist.
Are you a more relaxed mom than you expected?
I'm pretty relaxed. I am very strict about one thing and that is the baby's schedule. All babies feel safe when there is a schedule, a routine with their food, their sleep, their play. It is scientifically proven and fits my perspective very well.
After all, what does a really good mom do for you?
The mom who follows, who is in sync with the child. It sees the needs of each period and becomes the child's companion. He listens to it, understands it, supports it in what it needs.
Were you at all worried about whether you were having a boy or a girl before you found out the gender?
I was sure I would be a tomboy because I'm a bit of a tomboy myself in behavior. But now that I'm growing a girl I'm melting. I really want to do things with my daughter that I didn't do with my own mom.
I want you to choose your three favorite products from the wonder room that you consider essential for every new mother.
Deluxe+ Dock - Golden Willow Boughs
tag:Wonder Wall