Parents, one of the most difficult missions they have been called to face is to talk to children about the difficult situations of reality. The world is unfortunately not as beautiful as it should be for our children, and everyday things happen that remind us of that. Children often grow up in a bubble of love and this has a positive impact, but there are times when we need to talk to them about traumatic events that will prepare them for the world outside of parental love. Whether it's fires or accidents, it's inevitable that some of this bad news will reach our children, whether we like it or not. So how do we teach them to stand on their own two feet and face the difficulties that sooner or later will come their way, while at the same time making sure they feel supported? This is a very difficult balance that all parents have to find, because no one wants their child to feel helpless, but our goal when raising a person is to make them capable and independent. The way to achieve this is not by hiding sad truths from our children, but by teaching them how to manage difficult and negative emotions themselves, with us always by their side of course. Dealing with difficult situations can be an opportunity for the child to learn to better cope with life's challenges and to boost their self-confidence by realizing their emotional strength and resilience.
So, the next time your child asks a difficult question, instead of avoiding the uncomfortable conversation, talk deeply and accept the negative feelings that will emerge from this seemingly uncomfortable, but oh-so-necessary conversation, so you can teach your children to they accept these feelings themselves. Let's look at some ways to achieve this below.
Prepare the ground
Before you have a difficult conversation with your child, prepare the ground. Choose a calm and comfortable environment where you can discuss this topic undisturbed. Make sure you have enough time to go over the topic and answer your child's questions. Before starting such a conversation you must have accepted the situation yourself, so that you inspire calmness, confidence and security. Children are influenced based on what they see and feel, not what they hear.
Listen to your child
Before you talk to the child, ask him if and what he knows and how he feels about what is happening. In this way you encourage him to develop the points that you will need to answer through the conversation, so that he does not have unresolved questions and concerns that have not been addressed.
Use simple and understandable language
When you talk to your child, use language they can understand. Try to avoid using complex terms or vague phrases that may create confusion and the child does not know. It is important to explain the situation in a way that the child can understand and process. Don't embellish reality to avoid sadness, because that way you confuse your children even more. For example, don't say "Grandma went to heaven." The child will not understand what this means. You must be as clear as possible and explain that these incidents are an organic part of the evolution of our lives.
Be honest but also sensitive
Honesty and empathy are fundamental when talking to your child about difficult topics. Talk about bad news sensitively, taking into account their age and current emotional level. It is important, as we said, that children know the truth, but try to do it in a way that will not shock them. There are many ways to communicate a truth and cruelty is definitely not the way to go when dealing with minors. You don't want to shock them, but teach them ways to build defense mechanisms in similar incidents throughout their lives.
Leave room for their feelings
When you break bad news, it's normal for children to have strong reactions and emotions. It is important to leave room for these feelings to be expressed and allow the child to express pain, sadness, fear, anxiety or worry. The lesson you have to teach them is that all emotions are equal and have value, whether they are positive or negative, and that we can manage them, no matter how intense they are, because life never gives us only one or the other. not. Try to share your feelings honestly to create an atmosphere of trust, but mostly to set an example for them to understand that what they feel is about a larger group of people than themselves and is not something to be ashamed of. Show them that even you as a parent are affected by the bad things that happen around you. This is the only way they will understand that it is okay to be vulnerable and instead of "hiding" from bad thoughts, they will learn to reveal them and face them bravely.
Don't let others do your work
It is good for you to talk to the children about what is happening and to limit the information from the internet and television that cause anxiety and are related to disaster management. Children will be exposed to this information in one way or another, so it is good that it is prepared by you so that it does not become a barrage of sources that do not calculate the impact that such news has on them.
Provide guidance and answers to their questions
Children will probably have many questions after breaking bad news. Be prepared to answer these questions as well as offer guidance and support during this difficult time. It takes time to process a trauma, which you owe it to the little people in your life. If you don't know the answer to a question, it's best to admit it and look it up together.
Suggest ways to manage emotions
Painting, writing, playing sports or talking with a friend or relative can be beautiful ways to release emotional tension. Encourage the child to find a creative outlet for his feelings and to share his concerns with you or other people he trusts, and you know that in dialogue with them you will communicate values that you would share with your child. It is important that they also participate in solidarity actions to develop a sense of hope rather than the hopelessness and despair that these events cause. After the fires, go together for reforestation. Do volunteer work. Show him in action that humanity and solidarity can change the world, even on a small scale.
Maintain a routine and offer security
Maintaining a routine can help children feel safe and stable during difficult times. Be sure to keep their regular schedule as much as possible, offering stability and understanding during this difficult time. As the child adjusts to the new reality, it is important to review the situation periodically. Talk to the child about how they feel, what changes have happened and what help they might need.
Seek expert help if you deem it necessary
If you realize that your child is experiencing severe or long-term emotional problems, do not hesitate to seek the help of a professional, such as a psychologist or counselor. You are not superheroes and your contribution may not be enough for the child. These specialists can offer extra guidance and support to your child as they go through this difficult time, but also advise you on how to be as supportive as possible based on the specifics of your child's situation and mindset.
Don't forget hope
The conclusion of any conversation that has so many negative references for their psyche must be related to hope. Remember the ways people have managed to overcome difficulties after natural disasters or historically. Make sure they know that life's difficulties don't always lead to disaster, but they change reality and force people to redefine what they need to do to find hope and positivity in their lives.
tag:Wonder Wall