Terpsihori Savvala is an artist who mainly deals with the medium of ceramics, but everyone knows about the characteristic figures she paints on the clay works of art she creates. Her creations can be found from the shop of the Museum of Cycladic Art to high-end restaurants in Copenhagen and luxury hotels and from galleries to major international magazines. Konstantinos Kampiotis works in the field of branding and marketing. The couple, who have been together for ten years, live between Athens and Copenhagen. In March 2021, they had their daughter, Dioni, and joined the new parents' club. How is the experience of new parenthood? Their answers to our questions will probably make many parents identify.
From the tough love that the generation of today's parents grew up with, we have now gone to the shower with love that we are raising children with now. Is this model better for the healthiest and most complete emotional development of children?
We believe that no matter how many different theories come out about education, what will always be true is that children (or rather humans) need love. We both agree that it's not enough to know you love your child, they have to know it too, otherwise what's the point? What we want for our little one is for her to always be absolutely sure that we love her, without conditions, because this is what will make her a strong person, with self-confidence and above all self-esteem, since she will always know that she deserves love. That doesn't mean we don't set boundaries, but we do so respectfully. We treat her as a person and not as a project that we have to achieve by simply making her efficient. We hug and kiss her whenever we feel like it, which means all the time, and whoever tells us that "this is going to spoil her" we will continue to do the same because no one was hurt by a little extra tenderness. From its lack, however, many.
What is the biggest difference from the idea you had about parenthood before you became parents or while you were waiting for Dioni to live in the last few months of parenthood?
Where to start. Our idea of what it is to be a parent was completely superficial. We saw parents having a good time walking with their children on the street. But we had no idea that it takes three hours of preparation to get to this point. It’s true that whatever you may read before becoming a parent, cannot prepare you for the reality of it. We heard parents around us grumbling about insomnia and thought they were just exaggerating. In the end they weren’t at all. But the other thing we also had no idea about is how much you can love such a small creature that you don't know very well. We thought we knew what love was, companionate love. But this one is more equal. It's not the kind of love that would sacrifice one's life for another (at least not in healthy relationships). In the parental relationship, however, self-love goes out the window. We know that at any time we would sacrifice anything for this little girl, no matter what that meant for us.
Dioni is 20 months old. Sleeping and eating are still two big challenges for parents of children at this age. Do you have any tips to offer to those facing the same difficulties as you?
We had a lot of trouble sleeping. We were waking up 7-8 times every night and it when we managed to fall asleep, we had to get up again. It looked like a wartime torture. We said good night to each other and admitted that there was no meaning to even saying it, since the night was harder than the day. We felt incredibly guilty that we were doing something wrong. We listened to advice from friends and acquaintances whose children slept without breaks, we followed them but nothing. Suddenly at 17 months she started waking up once, and after a while she slept through the night. Now she almost always sleeps from 9pm to 9am. We didn't change anything, she made the decision herself. That is why I would like to tell any parent who is facing the same thing not to feel guilty, they are not doing anything wrong. Every child is different, it is not a machine to catch the same program or the same tricks on everything.
I want you to tell me how you make sure you share the responsibilities of the child and which parts of your daily life you pay special attention to, so that the obligations of survival deprive you of as little time as possible from Dioni?
We were together for 9 years before we became parents so we had found our balance and we had jointly decided that there was no point in becoming parents if it was not a given that we would share everything 50-50. In practice this was much more difficult, since especially in the beginning, with breastfeeding the mother had more of the care of the infant. But when we got out of this phase we returned to our balance and now we try to share everything equally. We want Dioni's dad to be more than just a person she spends the weekends with but a caregiver, just like mom. Not only because it's important that she has the right male role models in her life, but also because we want the bond to be deep and real, for both Dione's and dad's sake.
What does being a good parent really mean to you?
I think we answered that in the first question. In general, to love and support his child to be who she is.
What can't a new parent live without?
Without help. We are lucky because our parents can keep our little one for some hours on the weekends. We were also lucky enough to find the best nanny in the world, Melina, who during the hours she takes care of Dioni, we may miss her but we know she is having a great time with her. Finally, choosing a godfather is also important. We have chosen a person that we really wanted to officially become a part of Dioni's family and the little one already feels it, since we rely on him whenever we need help taking care of her.
I want you to choose three items from thewonderroom.gr that you consider a must-have for a parent?
Library for the buzz to be self-service and to choose for itself which book it wants to read.
Mother Earth Organic Cotton Swaddles - 4 Pack
We used these all the time when they were little. For infinite different uses.
Merle Cape Bib, Little Dragon / Dark Sandy Mix
Because a simple bib doesn't do anything when the little one wants to spread food everywhere.
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